The Long Trek Home

Fuck Virgin Atlantic.

Fuck them for having incompetent check-in staff, preventing me from doing any sort of shopping at Heathrow before leaving.

Fuck them for delaying the flight so much that I could have gone shopping with no problem.

Fuck them for bumping the seats I'd reserved months in advance and moving my party to the middle seats of the center aisle.

Fuck them for having a seat pitch so cramped, that my sick self couldn't have a moment's comfort on the plane, unless it was when I escaped through the guys on either end and went and hung out near the lavatories.

Fuck them for lowering their prices and filling their planes. What was once a cool flying experience is now déclassé and cramped. Whereas VA was a refuge for the travel savvy, it's now full of the same space-taking, inconsiderate mouthbreathers you find on every other airline. You know who I'm talking about.

Then again, I loooove their frequent flyer club. I'm just going to upgrade a class for longhaul flights from now on. And I looooove their flight attendants. I don't know if it was their usual level of beauty, or having been with the uglies in Belgium the day before, but my cold medicine addled brain was falling in love every ten minutes or so.

Joanna - the stunning brunette with the cute Welsh accent on VS019, if you're reading this and ever want a good layover, leave a comment.