#1 With a Bullet

I hereby declare the Shinkansen bullet train the smoothest form of transportation in the world.

The proof? I just went to take a leak and not once did I have to hold on to the railing to steady myself. It's smooth and even, with even less bobbing and weaving on the track than Europe's high-speed trains, while going at higher speeds. Nutso.

I also declare the Shinkansen as the world's fastest transit. I swear, I went from Japan to England in 12.5 seconds...

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes...

A massive shift in plans has happened since last night.

First off, the whole reason for this trip is now kaput. This weekend, my family - what with its history inextricably tied to Nakamura - was to be honored by the city. They do this every year for one family, and this year is my family's turn. Or was.

Keeping up with the Japanese propensity to change things on you without letting you know (now I see where my mom gets it...), the event has been moved to next January, on the day of my great grandfather's birthday.

You know, that makes more sense and all, considering Hi-ojichan (as we called him) was the city's first mayor. Hell, there's even a big memorial down the street dedicated to him on the day he retired. The guy's like Jebediah Springfield, only without a big bronze statue of him in a coon-skin hat.

But it would've made much more freakin' sense if they'd just scheduled it that way to begin with!! You know, what with overseas luminaries like myself in attendance and all...

Anyway, that's that and there's nothing I can do about it. What it does is open up our schedule a little more, and since we've exhausted what there is to do around this area (unless I manage to finagle a surfboard and wetsuit really soon), it gives us an extra day to do whatever. My mom figured we can head out of here earlier and get a head start on our further exploration of Japan.

Speaking of which, I've definitely nixed Hokkaido from our itinerary. After hating life spending so much time in cars and trains over the last week, I decided I can't spend 11 hours in transit (one way), largely on non-bullet trains to go see the northern island for a couple of days. It'll be much better when I come back someday during full-on winter and check out the insane powder from the front-row view of my snowboard, than to go now when there's no snow and just a lot of cold. We're going to point ourselves to somewhere on the shinkansen high speed rail lines, so I never have to spend more than a couple of hours being shuttled around.

Luckily, we have Japan Rail passes that become active the day after tomorrow, with unlimited use for a week. Also luckily, hotel reservations don't really have to be honored around here, so canceling reservations for Hokkaido won't be a problem. Other than some western hotels and business hotels, lodgings are a cash-up-front affair around here. So it's not like they can charge your credit card for a night or whatever. Sweet.

Doin' a Couple of Rails with My Cousin

I just had my first Shinkansen (bullet train) ride from Kyoto on the ultra-fast Nozomi train. I have to admit, after waiting most of my life to do this again (the last time I did it, I was about two years old), it was a bit anticlimactic. Since my childhood, high-speed rail has been implemented everywhere (except the good ol' U.S. of A, forfuckssake) there isn't that much novelty in whizzing through cities and countryside at speeds nearing 200 miles an hour.

In fact, I had just started settling in, grooving to my iPod and kicking off my shoes when Makoto tapped me on my shoulder to tell me that we were arriving in Okayama. Dammit.

We just switched to another line - this one a regular train - which is headed to Kochi, our destination for today. It's noticeably slower, but just as comfortable. The only peculiarity is that I'm sitting in a cloud of cigarette smoke. I'm suspecting this is a result of my family being up to its dirty tricks again...

You see, before my mom left Osaka, she gave me ¥20,000 so I can buy my tickets for this leg of the trip. But this morning, Makoto handed me my tickets as we were on the local train to Kyoto. I have a feeling he's behind all this, having booked us on a smoking train.

Oh well - at least it's full of novelty, and I'm not all that averse to smoke. All my rock star, writer and artist heroes smoke like chimneys (or did so until their demise), so I may as well get used to it if I want to live, travel, and write like a rock star, right? Besides, who cares when you've just eaten a decent meal on a train?

At each train station - and on board the bullet trains - they sell eki-ben, or to-go boxed lunch sets. Keeping my sudden aversion to fish in mind, I opted for the one non-fish, non-vegetarian item: Teriyaki. Oddly enough, this is the first time I've seen anything served up teriyaki style in Japan. It's just not that big a deal here like it is back at home. At any rate, it was pretty decent, and far better than the crap I have to put up with on my daily train commute.

In fact, it just occurred to me that I could make a killing if I started a business selling boxed lunch sets at train stations and airports. No more overpriced pizza or signing away your first born for a McDonald's Extra Value Meal. Just step right up to Omi-san's House of Bento and you'll get a full meal made fresh this morning - side dishes and all - in a portable box to take on your train or plane. Sounds good, right? I mean, how is it that no one else has done this?

Oh yeah - Americans are probably averse to eating rice and meat at just below room temperature. Oh well, it's your loss, my star-spangled friends.

Anyway, back to enjoying the fantastic views...